my maid of honor speech for my sisters wedding!
13 years ago
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- Miss Winkler
- I'm currently in my fourth year teaching, my second at Newington High School. Previously I taught at Wamogo High School in Litchfield, CT. I appreciate exchanging new ideas and thoughtful discussion with my students.
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21 comments:
Okay. As I've mentioned in class, much to the displeasure of both Alex and Erik, I like Emilia more than I like Desdemona. Emilia is much more practical, as opposed to Desdemona, who is just idealistic and naive.
That being said however, I would chose Desdemona as a wife, just as many men would do. She's the ultimate embodiment of tolerance. Despite the fact that Othello has been rude to her, and even went as far as slapping her, Desdemona did not give up on him, even when she was dying. As Jess mentioned, Emilia is much more outspoken, a feminine characteristic that many women respect. Men however, would be wary of such behavior. They wouldn't want their wives to be so outspoken and bold, because one it makes them look bad that they can't control their wives, and two, they feel they're supposed to be the "boss" in the relationship. Shakespeare purposefully makes Desdemona a flawless character. She's beautiful in every respect, loyal, a devote Christian, and uncorrupted by the world around her. No wonder Othello went head over heels for her. The scene between Desdemona and Emilia, when Des claims she doesn't believe that whores can even exist in the world, many of us were frustrated with her naivete. However, this would make many men want to have her as a wife, because if she doesn't understand what a whore is, she would be highly unlikely to cheat on her husband.
I know this caused a tad bit of controversy in class, coughAlexcough, but I still stand by what I said. Desdemona's flawlessness make her perfect, but she's much too impractical to be a realistic wife.
Practicalities aside Himali, I would rather have Desdemona for a wife. Desdemona, as Himali said, is much more tolerant than Emilia. Even on her death bed (literally), Desdemona never gave up on Othello. Desdemona showed that she was a tolerant wife when Othello slapped her in front of Lodovico, Iago and all the other men. Her only reaction to the slap was her saying to Othello that he shouldn't have done that. This shows that she will do whatever is needed to make her husband appear to be on top. Also, I would choose Desdemona for a wife because when she and Emilia were talking about women cheating on their husbands, Desdemona said that she could not believe anyone would do that. She also said that she would never do that, showing that she is true to her husband. Who wouldn't a wife that is true to her husband? Lastly, Desdemona was described by Othello as the most beautiful and flawless wife, and what man wouldnt want a women that's flawless. If it ever came down to having to choose between Desdemona and Emilia to be my wife, I would rather have Desdemona.
I think I would rather have Emilia as my hypothetical wife. I know that I am a self-professed Desdemona fan, and I still am, but Desdemona doesn't strike me as the marriage-type. She's so pure and faithful to Christianity, that she would have been better left that way. She should have run off and become (became?) a nun, or a woman of the church. Ultimately, I speculate that she and her hubby had not consummated their marriage, and she was still pure when she died. I never honestly saw Desdemona having marriage potential, unless you just like to sit and look at her...
Emilia, on the other hand, won my full respect at the very end of the play. She completely turned the tables around and proved her worth. I thought she was a fraud from the beginning of the play, but in the last scene, her loyalty to Desdemona, and her persistence in revealing the truth made me rethink my opinion of her. It was fierce.
Despite her inclination to wander, and be two-faced (going back to like, act 2, I think), I think she would make a great wife for the right kind of person.
(And Miss Winkler--nice title, I was just watching Grease!)
Personally I'd rather have Emilia as a wife, but not that I'm not a fan of Desdemona. I love that Desdemona is faithfull and would never even think about cheating on her husband, but at the same time she doesn't seem to know or acknoledge most of the world around her. Emilia is not afraid to tell her opinion and be honest with the world. Yes she did admit that she would cheat on the husband for the world, but I'd rather have someone won who wasn't afrain to say what on thier mind than someone who has such a Christain view and can't even talk about the uncomfortable subjects like cheating. In any relationship you should be able to talk about anything with your spouse, if you can only talk about the confortable things, how are you ever going to get through problems and trust issues. Plus, I love that Emilia stands up to Iago and finally come clean about the truth and isn't afraid to do what's right.
Yes! Thank you for posting this blog! I’m like the only girl in my class that is not a Desdemona-hater. I find it very entertaining how all the guys root for Desdemona and all the girls root for Emilia. I could see why most girls would not pick Desdemona. First of all, she is not as relatable to our generation of women. She is not as hypothetical and bold like Emilia’s character. She is ignorant when it comes to facing new challenges in life and always tries to be optimistic. She is pure and has all the universal qualities of a proper English lady that everyman would certainly fall for. I believe the reason why most guys would fall for her more than Emilia is the fact that she is not very combative and forthright, since most guys don’t like arguments. They get abashed when they are out in public arguing with their wives. Emilia, on the other hand, will seek vengeance against her husband to get her way. She will up-front tell all the dirty secrets to her husband in public, which will leave Iago all humiliated, a feeling that most guys don’t like to get themselves into. Men want a sweet girl like Desdemona who is always there to console them during tough times, and you really get to see this in Desdemona and Othello’s relationship. Every time Othello is in a bad mood, Desdemona always tries her best to comfort him, which is probably the reason why it was difficult for Othello to kill her because she is such a sweet, loving lady.
At the outset, I do appreciate Emilia’s hypothetical assertions about men, women, relationships, etc. However, she could continue making these excuses for cheating on her husband, and it still makes her a whore. She could sleep with other men in exchange to help the poor and help build her husband’s status, but either way you look at it, she is still committing a sin that goes against her morals (if she even has one). I mean, what man would ever let their wife deceive them for charitable reasons, so they can have better credentials? I have to say, that’s too much of a risky obligation. Emilia goes on saying that it’s such a small vice to commit in such a big world, and goes on babbling that it is the husband’s fault for their wife’s sake of vengeance. Now that ticks me off right there about her character. First of all, she shouldn’t be all whiny and blaming her husband as to why she has such a miserable love life. It is both their faults for bringing themselves through this path. She shares a partial blame for their vain love life because she doesn’t try to voice out the hurt and anger inside her, and in order to soothe that anger is to completely point the finger at her husband and goes on sleeping with another man to satisfy herself. I believe that is the most immature way to handle a crumbling relationship. She is just making matters worse. Instead of rekindling their marriage, they are using each other to meet their needs. This seems to work for them, but their love for each other is not very spiritual and sacred like Desdemona and Othello’s relationship.
I believe that Desdemona would make a better wife than Emilia. She might ignore her problems and be afraid of facing the truth (a weakness), but it is slightly better than Emilia’s betrayal. You have to realize that Desdemona was brought up from a Christian background and she was isolated from the outside world because of her father. That’s why she has a hard time understanding the real world. She just got married, and she is absorbing all these bizarre situations that is coming right at her at the moment. Maybe that is the reason why she is not as a strong fighter as Emilia. I believe that Desdemona still has a voice in her, and she is willing to let that out, but the reality of things are keeping her from opening up. The fact that she doesn’t give up in fixing her marriage and is selfless in handling the situation makes her a better wife. She never blamed Othello for the breakdown in their relationship. Indeed, she even takes the blame for not handling the situation well. Now, this might lead others to question whether she is blaming herself for not telling the truth. But either way, her sincerity would be the reason why most guys would fall for her rather than Emilia.
I totally like Emilia way more than Desdemona. Desdemona is so irritatingly innocent. It's like she's been living in a bubble her whole life, like that commercial where the lady keeps her baby in a giant plastic bubble to keep it clean and you're like "OMG! lady, how stupid can you be?" Well Desdemona is just like that, she's been kept in a giant bubble her whole life to keep her "clean." I get that she grew up a noble and all, but hopw sheltered can a person possibly be?Has she ever spoken to another person? Or did Brabantio provide all the servants with a list of topics that were appropriate for discussion? Marrying Desdemona would be like marrying a 5 year old in a 25 year old body. She's a child.
Emilia, on the other hand, has experienced a lot and is really honest about it. She doesn't try to seem all proper and innocent. She openly uses the word "whore" and doesn't hide her beliefs on affairs. She's not perfect but I would rather marry someone who wasn't and was honest about it rather than someone so sheltered that it drives me insane. How can anyone spend more than 5 minutes with Desdemona without hitting her upside the head?
I love how all the girls want Emilia to be their wife. I guess it'd be wise to pick Desdemona as the wife -- she's submissive, easy-going, etc. But if I were a guy, I would want my spouse/significant other to inspire me, meaning that I'd want to be on the same intellectual level as that person so that our conversations would go further than just the "I love you's". I wouldn't want to be with someone as weak as Desdemona. I agree that most men think that Desdemona is perfection and the epitome of a wife. However, once you reach perfect, how much further up can you go? The relationship loses its meaning.
I would rather have Desdemona than Emilia as my wife because of her complete devotion and honor. Emilia’s character, while strong-willed and practical, seems to be overly emotional and too dominant. Desdemona is a kind character who never gives up on those who she loves. She speaks kind words, is completely innocent to the point to naïve and seems to be the most honest character. Even when Othello physically hurts her, she takes it with pride and honor, which I find to be admirable. She even blames herself for his actions showing how she does not wish to condemn anyone who may not deserve to be condemned. Her strong religious background allows her to forgive others for their actions. I would rather have someone who can forgive me for my actions and problems than remind me of them everyday through their words and actions towards me. While I do not like that she blames herself for others actions, I understand that her martyr-like nature comes from her true love and caring for others and I would hope that over time she would be able to understand that she cannot always blame herself for others actions. Although others claim that Desdemona is perfect, I believe that her own mind has room to grow and accept while Emilia seems as though she is too far set in her ways. While Desdemona looks up and finds the beauty in people, Emilia seems to look down at situations and see the ugliness in others. I would much rather deal with someone that is overly optimistic about life than deal with someone who is not tolerant towards others and seems to be filled with resentment.
I really don't understand you guys (cough*girls*cough) are all such Desdemona haterssss. At the beginning everyone was so in love with her story. This innocent girl running away from tyranny of her overprotecting father. Running off with basically a prince. The story of unaccepted love- a passionate youthful love. How come y'all loved Desdemona when her relationship with Othello was heating up???
We all tend to follow the story lines. Now that things are down the tubes with Desdemona and Othello, everyone seems to be picking apart Dedesmona..
We all liked Desdemona from the begginning and we all hated our first impression of Emilia.. Why have the tables turned?
I guess no one in this class is a romantic? I pick Desdemona. All you Emilia lovers... you must just LOVE to please your husbands that you can't do anything for YOURSELF!
hah! yeah, i said it.
I don't like Emilia, and I would want Desdemona as my wife, thank you to those who actually like Desdemona, as Marvi said most people in period 5 don't like her. Emilia does have a strong and independent side to her but then there's the dark side of her. She defends Desdemona and begs Othello to believe that she is loyal, and then she tells Desdemona that a woman should be willing to do anything to get what she wants. Emilia would be willing to betray her husband and sleep with another man if her husband could be a monarch. Then she tells her that it is the husband who makes a woman go outside the marriage because she is treated poorly by him. Emilia puts the blame on the husband when she is the one betraying him and choosing to betray him. Desdemona would never betray her husband because she holds true to her beliefs and chrisitan morals. When people said Desdemona is "annoying" she only sounds this way because she is shocked that anyone could actually commit such an evil sin against their husband and against God. Emilia is the one wanting any way to make her husband a monarch, and her postiton in society allows her only to do so in a decieving way. Desdemona was brought up to be a noble woman in society and Emilia is of a lower class. If Emilia speaks up like she did in 5.2, to tell Iago that she will not go home and she will not follow his demands, then people will only think that her low postiton in society is an excuse for her actions. Desdemona was a well respcted woman and what I like most about her is her strength inside, a strength that she does not boast about or express when others are listening. She has her opinion inside of her where it belongs, and in the right time and place she will express it when necessary. When Emilia told her that she would betray her husband, Desdemona responded by telling her that women who would do this are a bad example for all. The argument that people made in class about a woman and her children who are starving, then would she betray her husband to get what they need. A woman who would do this is a weak person, someone who would lie and sin is not doing any good for their family, they are only making it worse.
Desdemona basically let Othello slap her and even kill her. When he slapped her she turned away and took her personal realtionship out of the spotlight. When Othello was killing her she said she died a guiltless death and that she still loved Othello as he was killing her. She died knowing that she did nothing wrong in her life and she did not run away from Othello because she had a duty to her husband until death, and she promised to love him until death. She did not run away because she had hope in him, and due to her chrisitan beliefs God would take care of her even after death. Desdemona is able to forgive people and that is something Emilia could never do. Emilia does say that she did take the handkerchief, but she did so at the wrong time. I did notice how loyal Emilia was to Desdemona in 5.2, before she dies she tells Othello that Desdemona was always loyal to him. This still left me wondering though, I always felt as if Emilia was hiding something inside, maybe she used Desdemona as a way to hide what she has really done. Overall, Desdemona is the better wife because she loved her husband enough to forgive him, and she was strong enough to stand in front of Othello and let him take her life. This was not a weakness because inside she knew who she was and God knew who she was.
AHHHHHH GREASE!!!! =) oh Miss Winkler you rock! I've been singing songs from Grease allllll weeeeeeek (with Karolina) So, I agree with Himali, obviously as we know from class. Emilia is modern, first of all. I think Des is actually annoying because she doesn't say much and she's too into God and being the perfect first class woman. Maybe it's the way she was raised, but honestly, she doesn't seem like the most fun person to be around and, I don't know, I'm still confused how a girl who runs away seeking an adventurous man turns out to be such a boring and idiotic character. She's just not relatable enough to make it to my Wife list (which Marielle obviously tops because she is amazingggg). Plus, I still am annoyed that she didn't just lie and repent at the end to save her own life. She just let her husband turn into a monster, probably because she was having second guesses herself about eloping from her usually confined lifestyle, which she must miss at least a little if that was her home she grew up in. Lastly, as I've mentioned in class and in my journal, the perfect Des is just too idealistic to be a wife, Emilia is much more realistic and practical, reasoning everything out (like making a cuckold of her husband), which would be much better for marital disagreements rather than Des who would probably sit there and cry and not even try to argue her own way.
Shakespeare portrays Desdemona as the perfect wife; I think this is why most people in my class don’t like her. Too idealistic isn’t a good thing, people need flaws. I agree with this statement, and if I ever found a guy that seemed to perfect it would be a little hard to believe. Emilia isn’t perfect she admits that all women have desires and needs just like men; she also says she would cheat on her husband to make him a monarch. Desdemona is a little naïve, she can’t even comprehend the fact that women could cheat, and would never do it. Although I agree with Emilia’s logic and reason, I’m still a hopeless romantic and would love having someone who loved me despite what I look like on the outside to run away and marry. So I would definitely pick Desdemona as my wife
By the way Miss. Winkler…I LOVE GREASE!!! :]
I think I would rather have Emilia as my wife than Desdemona. Like Himali, I think Desdemona is too idealistic and naive. She's annoying (like I've been saying in all of my posts) and dumb. Either she's been brainwashed to think that women can't cheat and are perfect, or she's truly brainless. Emilia, on the other hand, is much more realistic. I like the fact that she can say that women have feelings too, and if they ever did something wrong, it would be their husbands' fault because the wives weren't treated like they were supposed to. She can take revenge if she needed to. Would Desdemona ever take revenge? I don't think so. For example, she did not even tell Emilia that Othello killed her because she's so in love with Othello. If I was a criminal, then yeah, I'd want her to be my wife because she's never rat on me. But I'm not, so her "perfection" is just unnecessary. Emilia and Desdemona are both faitful (as far as I know), but Desdemona is too much. I'd rather have Emilia as my wife. Desdemona seems like a puppy that will follow you anywhere and do whatever you say. At some point, I would get sick of her.
As I am a hardcore Emilia devotee - so much so that I almost started a physical fight during period five >< - I’m sure it doesn’t come as a surprise that I would choose Emilia as my wife.
Desdemona is a pure and faithful character that would never do anything to hurt her husband, for her extreme Christian values would never allow her to commit a sin. She is the image of perfection in that she is honest and clean, but only shows any kind of true personality in the scene when Iago talks bad about women and demeans Emilia. In that scene, she fought back to Iago’s degradation, but from that point on, she falls even harder into her little angelic shell. She has no teeth.
Emilia also lets herself get walked all over by her husband, but she has a strong personality that by the end of the play, she isn’t afraid to express. She is extremely faithful, even more so than Desdemona, because she is utterly devoted to those she loves. She must’ve had an inkling that giving Iago the handkerchief wasn’t a good idea, but she did it anyway, because she wanted to see him happy. She says that she would cheat on him, but only so that he end up a king. And towards the end, when she realizes Desdemona has been killed, she rises to the occasion and redeems herself by acting completely devoted to her deceased lady.
Emilia is my wife of choice.
After all the arguing and me walking out in class I can’t believe that Himali chose Desdemona over Emilia…WOW!!!!!
But anyways, obviously like every other normal person I would choose Desdemona. Just as everyone said, Desdemona is as close as you can get to being the perfect wife. Throughout the story, Desdemona has been loyal to Othello. She is the object of nearly everyone’s desires, and to be perfectly honest she could get any guy in the story that she wanted, but despite all of this Desdemona stays loyal to Othello. She is also not a woman to fight, when Othello slaps her, she just walks out and never really brings it up again, o how great life would be without couples arguing with each other. Also, no matter what Desdemona loved Othello, and believed in his good side, and as everyone has said, even on her deathbed she still believes she can find the good in him and change his mind.
It’s amazing how perfect Shakespeare tries to create Desdemona, and is NEARLY perfect in doing do. While everyone else says that Desdemona is perfect she is NOT. In the story Desdemona never actually talks to Othello! She can tell that something is bugging him, but never actually talks to him. If she had just discussed their problems or speculative problems from the beginning, she never would have died and everyone would be perfect. she also lied to him about the napkin, and even though it might have hurt him that she lost it I know that I would rather know from the getgo, it is so much better to know than to not, because that's when things go wrong as it did for them. But overall, Desdemona all the way.
Also, the only reason that all of the girls pick Emilia, is because that is the wife they would want to be, the arrogant stuck up all controlling wife that whips the husband. They dont want to be the wife that listens all of the time and does everything they are told. To tell you the truth, i wouldnt want either of these to really , but id rather be controlling than be controlled, lol.
Desdemona and Emilia both have some good characteristics and some bad characteristics. Desdemona has a beautiful soul and is innocent and sweat while Emilia is a strong woman who understands the world and knows what has to be done. Desdemona however is naive and weak and Emilia is harsh and cold. To be honest I don’t think I would take either for a wife. Both have major character flaws and when I do get a wife one day, she will be flawless. I like Emeilia a little more I think but I hate her lack of emotion and her willingness to cheat on her husband.
HAHAHA I THOUGHT OF GRACE when I read the title. sorry.
This may surprise you, and by you I mean anybody that has heard me rant about the pure hatred I have stored inside me for Emilia, but I would choose Emilia. Although Desdemona is by far more honest, loyal, and lovable, you could always count on Emilia to screw her best friend over to please her husband. Isn't that what you would want? Sure she might cheat, but she's doing it to "better" her husband's situation.
However, Desdemona's innocence does help her. I think guys like that in a wife--you know, the inexperienced aspect. They know Desdemona is a "classy" lady who HASN'T been around the block. She listens and takes direction well. When women like Desdemona love, they love forever and always (mainly because they are so naive, they can't imagine anything else). They never want to cause a scene and avoid confrontation almost entirely. Both women have their flaws, but to see Emilia actually betray a friend to help her psycho husband is true devotion. That's what I'd want in a woman. :) seriously.
I agree with what Himali said in respect to Des vs. Emilia, where Emilia is much more practical and realistic while Desdemona is too ideal and naive to the point that i kinda wanna punch her in the face and yell wake up. I don't know if i want Emelia as a wife herself, because i cant stand bitter people. But I could be with someone who she represents, which is a real woman, versus the almost angelic vision of Desdemona. Life being married will never be perfect all the time, but that's what makes it real.
I'd also rather have Desdemona as my wife. Just as everyone else has said, she's a devoted, sincere wife. Emilia may have her affection towards Iago, but it's easy to call that affection into doubt, whereas an idiot can see that Desdemona cares for Othello without any restraint or uncertainity.
Emilia's practical, but I'm not. I like staying positive, so I want a husband who is the epitome of perfect; if I was a guy, I'm pretty sure I would want a wife who was that perfect.
While Desdemona is a very ideal person, she has her own strengths. She sticks to what she believes and doesn't let others sway her. She refused to believe that Othello was jealous throughout the entirety of the play. I would want a wife who had complete trust in me. If Othello had confided about his doubts to Desdemona, I'm certain that she could dissuade him from them. I personally believe that she is a strong person, and I would want her as a wife.
i know that i've already finished all my blogs...and im just reviewing posts to help me write my paper, but i'd really like to point out that'd i'd rather be single than marry either one of them. they're very different people, so you cant really compare them anyways because it'd be like trying to compare apples to oranges. Anywhos, i think they both are both stinkers as far as wives go. Emilia is way too smart and unless her partner of choice is equally smart or incredibly secure in himself, that relationship will be a bad one. And Des? she's so naive and idealistic i'd probably want to punch her in the face myself. She'd be easily taken advantage of and probably couldn't fulfil her husbands provacative (MENTAL!!!) needs...unless he, too, was a naive little puppy. So if i was a dude and they were the last two chicks on earth and i had to marry one, that'd basically be the end of humanity. I'd rather marry someone like me, personally if i had to pick. =] haha, but then again i think i'm too much for myself too sometimes. sooooo i guess single life is the way to go. (just don't tell anthony i said that)
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